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People can be mean.
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I wonder why?  What is the purpose?  I wonder why people feel the need to say things to make people feel bad.
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I have  friend who had an open house celebration for her business and she had a local chef making some appetizers for her. Someone spent some time eating the free appetizers and then felt the need to tell this shop owner the appetizers were awful, that she had better ones at other open houses.  Wierd.  What is that about?  What did that women expect to gain from criticizing the food anyway?  By the way, the appetizers weren’t awful, they were delicious!
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I taught a knit 101 class once and one of my students came back the following week and told me “YouTube is a way  better teacher than you”.  She went on to say that she worked in education and that she knew what good teaching skills were and that I didn’t have them.  That is what she said.
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We’ve had customers come into our store and literally throw patterns across the counter at us.  They say that the pattern is wrong and why would we sell a pattern that wasn’t right.  WHA?  Is that really the way to communicate a concern?
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Now, I totally believe that you should get what you pay for.  That if you paid for a class and didn’t learn something, you should mention that to the teacher.  That if you paid for food and it was bad you should be compensated.  But the way these people communicated was rough. And it takes a lot to weird me out.
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In my situation I certainly want to know if I could be better.  I offered the woman a refund and told her I was sorry she didn’t get what she expected from the class.  She declined the refund and said she intended on staying for the 2nd session because there were things she had to learn.  She walked out of the second session thanking me for a terrific class and said she learned a lot.  She even called me the next day and thanked me again.  Now, did she go out of her way to thank me because she regretted being mean to me?  I’ll never know because I am sure she won’t mention it and goodness knows I am not going to ask.
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I do have to give these women credit because they spoke up in person; face to face.  They came right up to us and said their peace.  They didn’t do it anonymously.  But we see anonymous mean things all the time right?  People who post on a blog, or in a comment on an online article.  The people who feel the need to beat people up or cut them down and they don’t have the guts to add a name to a comment.  That bugs me.
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The internet has improved our lives in many ways.  It has connected us to other cultures and experiences in ways that we never thought possible.  We learn about troubles in many parts of the world and can actually do something about it by making online donations or simply raising awareness by re posting, or writing our own blogs.  I know some would argue, but I would say the internet has improved our lives and increased our compassion and  that our freedom of speech has uncovered injustice all over the world.
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But where do we draw the line?
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Facebook and online news sources have given us the opportunity to tell people what we think.  Good or bad.  Most of the time the voice is good.  It is constructive, insightful, helpful and uplifting.  But there are also many, many times when it is negative, hurtful and just plain mean.  One recent thing comes to mind…The Stillwater Patch  (who does really good work by the way) posed an open question on Facebook “what do you think of Townie Tuesdays”.  Now, Shawn from the Patch is no dummy, he knows that when he poses an open question like that he’s going to get some crazy responses.  And more people are going to be driven to his website and Facebook page.  All of that is good for Stillwater Patch’s business.   But is it good for the rest of us?  The first comments he gets on that question are these responses…
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“Good to hear! Maybe the closing will keep the redneck, pickup truck, loud muffler and motorcycle crowd from Wisconsin off Churchill Street.”
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and
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“Redneck, pickup truck loud muffler, motorcycle crowd from Wisconsin… True ignorance! Take a look at your own residents!… I moved out of that town and would never move back because of people like you-because of your sense of entitlement and your thoughts of being holier than thou!”
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Now, both of these gentlemen did post these comments loud and proud.  Their names are attached.  Forever.  To these comments.  Wow right?  Now we are pitting Minnesota rednecks against Wisconsin rednecks?  Not sure how that is helpful or even relevant to the Townie Tuesdays  original question.  There are many more comments on this Facebook post too and lots of them are good, but the bad…oh the bad.
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I wonder did we have these discussions before the internet?  Would these two guys have gotten together at Whitey’s and had this contentious conversation over chili and beer?  (whitey’s has good chili).   Would it have ended with the Wisconsin redneck buying the Minnesota redneck a beer and slapping his back, or would they have been kicked out by the bartender for coming to blows?  Who knows cause our important conversations are online and often anonymous these days.
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We do have freedom of speech in this country.  And we are lucky to have it.
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But just because we can say something doesn’t mean we should, right?
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Life is short people…go forth and be nice.
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It’s been said that what goes around comes around.  If there is any justice I think the lady from my friend’s open house might spend her eternity eating bad appetizers.

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